Crow flies overhead, languidly beating its wings, no hurry, no worry…imparting a lesson? There’s a cacophony of crow call, morning council I wonder? Do they discuss dream wisdom, or foolishness for that matter?
I fell into reverie, which for me, quite often, equates to revelry, as my senses become heightened and an energetic tingling oft times occurs!
I allow my sight to soften and invite my muse Weaver forth…she’s draped in moving lights, like the softly swirly fog, which creates fantastical creatures from lumps of brush…
I call her forth, as I would love her words on courage. She/we dance together on canvas as well as paper.
I love the shift that occurs when I open myself to Source, or my muse. Tis an adventure, which requires trust, as well as courage.
When I ponder courage, I’m reminded of the little courages as well the bigger courages. The little courages when I place my feet on the floor every morning…the little courages when I descend and then climb back up the flights of stairs that are such a part of my life now. The bigger courage when I decided to move into my big old charming brick home. How about the little courages of encouraging? Sometimes there’s a vulnerability exchange when uttering soft words to someone.
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher
I think back to the first dance I had with my muse and I now applaud the courage it took to open, trust, connect and subsequently share, thru writing and image.
Every time I allowed myself to show, really show, where I was, where I am, or where I want to be, I grow. Every time I approached a canvas, and trusted the experience, I grew stronger. Every time I journaled, mused, and questioned, and then shared with my tribe sisters, I grew, becoming not only stronger, but also became more trusting, and courageous…finding a willingness to share again and again…image after image, whether painted or penned.
“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to some else.” Erma Bombeck
I feel a tug and a nudge, to reflect on myself as a little girl…I remember the delight in whispering to daisies…knowing that they in turn, delighted in my breathless observations or secrets, and the little big courage to continue to do, despite teasing by the neighborhood children. I remember, as a young girl, trembling, as my mother’s despair washed over and through me, and the little big courages I found when grasping my brothers hand, and rummaging for food…she was lost in anguish, my newborn sister suckling at her bloody breasts; then learned our determined stubbornness (aka courage) from her as she snapped out and forward…
I remember the little big courage of playing my flute in front of others, and delighting in the trill and the thrill of melody, letting it take me from inward to outward, courageously as well as shyly, extending my hands out in friendship.
I remember the courage it took to learn relationships, falling and getting up again, heartaches and passions.
I am intimately familiar with the big courage of living again, laughing again, and daring to look ahead after the sudden passing of my firstborn, my Shannon Marie. She was birthed and put to my breast 31 years ago next week. I had her here, in earth time, for nearly sixteen years. I remember laughing that first time, after she had passed, then promptly crying, as it didn’t seem right somehow, to live, let alone laugh.
I remember the day I was told I had multiple sclerosis, and how scared I was, as my body was doing such odd and painful things, and I became afraid, for a time, to make any plans, as I frequently had to cancel, sometimes last minute. I learned to trust my “no’s” and then my “yes’s” and began to live again.
I remember moving thru the loss of my marriage, and how that too shook me to my core, and I moved through that painful period as well…stronger in many ways…and I figure I had lessons to learn, or impart, and consequently, have an amazingly deep well of empathy.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” Anais Nin
What I know, today, just now, is that I am grateful for all of my life experiences thus far, and can really and truly look ahead again with curiosity, anticipation and trust. I also know that I was led to Shiloh, through her healing journals, which then led me to take her legendary class, rediscover my love of writing, a passion for connecting on canvas and the circle with my newfound tribe sisters. I was called, and answered that call, with a big courageous yes, and delved deeper into the mysteries of right/left brain connections, heart connections, soul connections, and it was good, it is good and it will be good!
“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” Thomas Merton
My mind and heart are in a heightened state now, observations are touched with magic, or at the very least, wonder….and I am again, so grateful, to walk this earth journey.
Thoughts To Live By Collage
“May your past be a pleasant memory,
your future filled with delight and mystery,
your Now a glorious moment, that fills
your life with deep contentment.” Irish blessing
